#GLS14 :: Joseph Grenny – Crucial Conversations

Joseph Grenny

Joseph Grenny is coauthor of three New York Times bestsellers: InfluencerCrucial Conversations, andCrucial Confrontations. His fourth book, Change Anything, is scheduled for release April 2011. He has spent the last 25 years teaching and advising more than one hundred thousand leaders on every major continent from the boardrooms of Fortune 500 companies to the slums of Nairobi, Kenya.

Grenny is also the cofounder of VitalSmarts, an innovator in corporate training and organizational performance, and a world-class speaker. His company’s corporate training products and services have helped leaders from 300 of the Fortune 500 companies identify and improve key areas that many credit with significantly advancing their careers and completely revamping their organizations.

  • The power of a group is the function of the purity of it’s motives.
  • 30 years ago we asked a question, “Are there a few moments of disproportionate influence?” Moments where how someone behaves has an enormous effect on every result you care about.
  • Are there a few moments that matter more than any others?
  • There are moments defined by 3 dimensions that have a disproportionate effect.
  • 1. High Stakes
  • 2. Opposing Opinions
  • 3. Strong Emotions
  • Think about someone who you’ve drawn a negative conclusion about.
  • Anytime you find yourself stuck there are always crucial conversations that are not being held.
  • Big idea 1: The principle of crucial conversations
  • When conversations turn from casual to crucial that’s when it matters most.
  • If it’s not possible to have fewer crucial conversations, then you’re going to confront them.
  • When you come to crucial conversations, you can either talk it out respectfully, or you don’t talk it out and act it out.
  • Are there some crucial conversations that happen on church staffs? Yes!
  • At about 3 years old we start to believe a myth that we often have to choose between telling the truth and keeping a friend.
  • You can measure the health of an organization by measuring the number of things you believe you can’t talk about.
  • Progress begins when we start to unwind the myth.
  • Your job as a leader is to model, teach, coach, and measure a small numbers of crucial conversations.
  • 3 Crucial Moments in Churches
  • 1. Performance problems with volunteers or staff.
  • 2. Members who are struggling in sin or disconnecting from the church.
  • 3. Concerns with pastors.
  • We know that crucial conversations are either a pit or a path.
  • Crucial conversations can become an acceleration of intimacy, when we don’t work around the truth but through it.
  • Those churches that raise these concerns and have crucial conversations do profoundly better.
  • Identify the core crucial conversations that need to be had at your organization.
  • Don’t let your crucial conversations become the pit, but become the path.
  • The vital behavior that enables most any positive outcome is candor at moments of acute emotional and political risk.
  • Let’s elevate the entire organization, not just the accomplishment of the mission.
  • Your influence is an outcome of your ability to hold crucial conversations.
  • When the game playing begins you can either talk it out or act it out. Which will you choose?
  • What’s the crucial conversation we’re either not holding or not holding well?
  • You have 2 tasks in the first 30 seconds of a crucial conversation, and if you do them there’s a 97% chance you’ll be heard.
  • 1. Mutual Purpose – The Entrance Condition – “You know that I care about your goals.”
  • Let people know that you care about their goals almost as much as they do.
  • 2. Mutual Respect – The Continuance Condition – “You know that I care about you.”
  • Let people know that you care about them.
  • People never get defensive because of what you’re saying, they defensive because of why they think you’re saying it.
  • If you can create safety, it’s possible to talk with almost anyone about almost anything.
  • I don’t think I would be a friend to you if I didn’t hold you accountable for what you’ve done.
  • “I know I need to suffer the consequences, but will you be there for me after I’ve suffered the consequences?”
  • The myth that we both can’t tell the truth and keep a friend is at the heart of disfunction.

Tags: , ,